Facebook (FB): John Browne has nudged you.
Mary: What do you mean “nudged”?
FB: Just nudged. Nudge him back.
FB: Well, it’s fun. ‘Nudge, nudge’, you know.
Mary: I don’t ….
FB: Besides it’s only polite.
Mary: Are you sure he ‘nudged’ me?
FB: Oh, absolutely.
Mary: But why would he do that?
FB: Perhaps being playful?
Mary: He’s never struck me as the playful or frivolous type.
FB: Perhaps he wants to ….. you know …..
Mary: What? Have sex with me?
FB: Well, yes. Lots of romances have bloomed between people who met on Facebook.
Mary: Probably a few kidnappings and rape too, I shouldn’t wonder.
FB: We can’t possibly be held responsible for ….
Mary: Oh, please! Spare me the official disclaimer! But do you really think John Brown might be trying to seduce me?
FB: Well, maybe … probably … yes. Why are you laughing hysterically?
Mary: He’s gay! He’s been “out” for ten years! He’s been living with a male partner for three years .. He announced just last week that they broke it off actually.
FB: Well, there you go.
Mary: What? “There you go” what?
FB: He broke up with his partner last week and this week he’s nudging you.
Mary: But he’s gay!
FB: Gay men have been known to convert …. revert … whatever.
Mary: Only in Christian evangelist imagination.
FB: Well, perhaps he’s bisexual.
Mary: He’s not.
FB: How do you know?
Mary: He’s always been quite clear about that. Besides ….
Mary: He didn’t nudge me.
FB: Yes he did.
Mary: No he didn’t.
FB: How can you be so sure?
Mary: He told me.
FB: When? You haven’t been messaging him.
Mary: I texted him just now on my mobile.
FB: Oh ……… He’s lying.
Mary: It could be you that’s lying.
FB: Why would I lie about that?
Mary: Well, to increase traffic on FB. I nudge him, he nudges me, we start additional conversations, other people start nudging …. etc. etc. More FB traffic, more interest from advertisers, more money for you.
FB: Patrick Smith poked you.
Mary: What! WHAT did you say?
FB: No, no! Poked …. as in …. as in … kind of like “nudged”.
Mary: Oh, for Heaven’s sake! You’re trying it on again!
Mary: Well, aren’t you?
FB: Well, yes. Would you like to play one of the FB games?
Mary: You mean like pretend I did something I didn’t, lie to my FB friends and generally up traffic on FB?
FB: There’s no need for sarcasm.
Mary: Oh, just ….! Good night!
FB: No, wait a mome …